3 psychological reasons why you need to understand your relationship with porn

The subject of pornography is a polarizing topic that sparks constant debate over whether it is good or bad for individuals and society as a whole. One thing we know for sure is that it’s not going away any time soon, which begs the question: is there a right way to consume porn?

Researchers who study pornography and the human psyche suggest that different types of pornography can be consumed in different ways – not all of which are categorically healthy or unhealthy. Here’s what porn consumption could say about you or a loved one, according to new psychological research.

#1. Porn could be the secret ingredient to a healthy relationship

The most recent studies show a positive correlation between shared porn consumption and relationship quality. Simply put, the more porn couples use together, the more functional their relationships seem.

“Using pornography with a partner can encourage sexual communication and sexual experimentation, which can help people discover each other’s sexual likes and dislikes and can bring people closer together,” says psychologist Taylor Kohout.

There could be several possible reasons for this positive correlation. Here are a few :

  1. It’s possible that simply engaging in a shared romance and/or exciting activity with a spouse, such as using porn together, can relieve relationship boredom and rekindle sexual (and non-sexual) interest. one for the other.
  2. It’s also possible that people in better relationships are simply more open to experimenting with porn together.

Kohut is careful to point out that simply consuming porn together isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to improving the quality of relationships. Indeed, considerations for your partner’s desire and appetite for such an experience are necessary.

“If you’re concerned about avoiding harm, you don’t just need to think about how pornography might affect you as a consumer, you also need to consider what your partner thinks of your pornography use. “, explains Kohut. “If they don’t like it and think you shouldn’t use it, your relationship will likely suffer, whether or not porn affects you in an objective and direct way.”

Additionally, Kohut mentions, a difference in pornography use may indicate a difference in partners’ views on sex more generally, their libido and sexual needs. So, it might even be a red flag to have an open dialogue with your partner about it.

“What ultimately matters is whether you and your partner are on the same page, and the differences in porn use indicate pretty clearly that you may not be. “, concludes Kohut.

#2. Porn can be an extremely addictive “drug”

Pornography is a powerful source of pleasure for many people and sexual pleasure is one of the main stimuli of the human brain. As such, unregulated access and uninterrupted consumption of pornography can be a recipe for addictive behavior.

Psychologist Stephen Sammut argues that no one is above the addictive effects of porn consumption because all of our brains are wired to reward instant gratification.

According to Sammut, porn addiction can have a wide range of mental health consequences, including anxiety and depression. Other than that, porn addiction can affect:

  1. How we perceive ourselves (self-esteem)
  2. How we perceive others; For example, if we start seeing people as being there for our enjoyment (i.e. objectifying them), the sky becomes the limit as to how one person can treat/mistreat another
  3. Impacts on the perception of living and reality: People become more comfortable living in the “unreal” and therefore know less how to deal with reality
  4. In general, if the dominant drive is to have fun (hedonistic), this drive is no different from that seen in drug abuse, where the drug user becomes preoccupied with seeking the stimulus at the cost of living a normal life and performing daily tasks.

Sammut cites the inculcation of faith and morality in his life as a way to combat this powerful addiction. According to Sammut, the benefits of faith and mortality in solving this problem are twofold:

  1. Faith and morals provide people with certain standards of behavior that challenge their growth and development in addition to standards of how they should see and treat people
  2. On a neurological level, both faith and mortality promote higher brain, executive functioning. Therefore, faith coupled with self-motivation can distract the brain from impulsive functioning.

#3. Porn consumption could be a symptom of a larger problem

Another new study shows that a person’s porn consumption could reveal a dark personality. Psychologist Miguel Diaz explains that pornography is characterized by a series of elements present in the profile of a dark or abusive personality, such as:

  1. constantly evolving partners
  2. deceive partners
  3. a search for new emotions in sexual relations
  4. try new experiences

In most cases, pornography also places women in a passive role, present only to respond to the man’s pleasures – and the man is shown as seeking pleasure to dominate and cause pain to the woman. Both of these tendencies are associated with narcissistic and sadistic personalities.

This is not to say that everyone who consumes pornography has a dark personality, but that pornography consumption could be a telltale sign of underlying personality defects.

Conclusion: As with most behaviors, porn use and your attitude towards pornography are part of your larger life story. You may or may not want to indulge in it, but it might be worth exploring and understanding your relationship with him. It can help you reach a new level of self-understanding.

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